E-portfoio: my Camp Experience

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

As I look over at my next rotation my heart starts pounding with fear,
it just seemed that I was going to drown. But when I sat in the kayak
I started getting better at it, while my group was laughing and having
fun I was trying to escape the deadly bushes. The freezing water was
rising up on me as I lost control and starts panicking aloud.

The freezing blue water around the little island was slowly pushing me
around with the help of the paddle. After the rotation my group realised
that we had 30 minutes to spare, so half of us went to the water hole and
the other half of us stayed.

30 minutes went past, so we went to collect the others then we waited a
few minutes once we got there because they did not want to leave just
yet. So they carried on and ten after they were done we headed back to
camp for lunch.

STUDENT REFLECTION: In my writing one of my goal is to: edit work checking that the meaning is clear and writing has impact. I did show this goal because: I edited my work and got buddy mark In my writing one of my goal is to: link paragraphs I did show this goal because: I showed this goal because I had to write 2 paragraphs  My next step is to: write sentences that have mostly correct grammar.   Teacher Comment: Georgia, I like the way you have used a variety of sentence types. lengths and beginnings in this piece of writing.  It supports creating an interesting piece for the reader.  I agree with your next step, reworking and rereading to check your sentences make sense.  One way to do this, is to read each sentence one at a time aloud.  - Mrs Hunter